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1. Tunnel Vision : The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are.
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The solution
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Perspective : Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?
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2. Fear : The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed.
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The solution
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Humor and Curiosity : Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers . The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?
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3. Confusion : The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don't know our own priorities anymore.
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The solution
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Responsible Choices : Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!
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4. Guilt : The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment . Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion.
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The solution
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If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on . If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.
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5. Shame : The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw . It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong.
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The solution
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Clear, rational thinking : Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.
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6. Loneliness : The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy.
6. ¹Â¶À£ºÏàÐÅûÓÐÈ˰®×Ô¼º£¬Ã»È˹ØÐÄ×Ô¼º¡£Óöµ½Ê²Ã´ÈËÄܽÓÊÜ×Ô¼º¡¢¶Ô×Ô¼ºÓÐÐËȤ¾ÍËÀץס²»·Å¡£ÒªÖªµÀÕâÑùµÄÐÐΪµ¼ÖµÄÊÇÒÀÀµÐÔ¡¢²»ÊÇÇ×ÃܸС£
The solution
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Accurate Self-Assessment : Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.
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7. Resentment : Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past . Some people spend their whole lives as "victims", nurturing a terrible event in their past.
7. Ô¹Ä±ï×ÅÒ»¹ÉÆø¡¢¾Ü¾øÏòǰ¿´¡¢À§ÔÚ¹ýÈ¥·¢ÉúÔÚ×Ô¼ºÉíÉϵIJ»¹«Õý´ýÓöÀÕâÖÖ²»¹«Õý²»¾¡ÕæÊµ£©¡£ÓÐЩÈËÒ»Éú¶¼ÔÚ°çÑÝ¡°Êܺ¦Õß¡±£¬ËÀץס¹ýÈ¥µÄ»µÊ²»·Å¡£
The solution
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Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong . Holding anger will not work.
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8. Self-Doubt : The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions . The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through.
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The solution
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Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through : Start small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.
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9. Stubbornness : The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong.
9. ¹ÌÖ´£º¾Ü¾ø»òÎÞ·¨ÖØÐÂÆÀ¹ÀÒ»¸ö×´¿ö¡¢ÎÞ·¨¸Ä±ä¾ö¶¨»ò³ÐÈÏ×Ô¼º´íÁË¡£
The solution
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Wisdom and Humility : Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative . When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.
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10. Addiction : Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle . We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them.
10. ñ«£ºÈËÀàÒѾ¶Ô¸÷ÖÖÒ©ÎïÉÏñ«ÁË£¬µ«ÎÒÃÇͬʱҲ±äµÃ¶Ô¹¤×÷¡¢¶Ô×Ô¼ºµÄÒâ¼û»òÊÇÉú»î·½Ê½ÉÏñ«¡£ÎÒÃÇÒ²¿ÉÄܶԡ°ÈË¡±ÉÏñ«£¬ÐèÒªËûÃǶà¹ý°®ËûÃÇ¡£
The solution
½â¾öÓеÀ
Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do "right" . Use habits and traditions to set you free, don't let habits enslave you!
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