英语经典笑话不要太长，有关动物的.

精选知识

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."

"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor

一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣.“这有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值.我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了.”

“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”.

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里.

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6."

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.

老师：请说说看.

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

Excuse for Speeding

Excuse for Speeding

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.

〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃

超速的理由

哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们.

“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道.

“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地.”

Send the Bill to My Father

Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃

Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father,please.〃

把账单给我父亲

医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力.那是遗传病.”

病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧.”

One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

Girl: Father, I have sinned.

Preacher: What did you do, little girl?

Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.

Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?

Girl: He touched my breast.

Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)

Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.

Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.

Girl: But he also took off my cloth.

Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)

Girl: Yes, that's what he did.

Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.

Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...

Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)

Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...

Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...

Girl: But he had AIDS!

Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH

小建议：

英语笑话通常都是很短的,要是长了就达不到效果了.越是经典的就越短.老外的幽默和我们的不一样的.十句以上都可以算作阅读段了,怎么表演啊,听众本来听英语就费劲,句子又多又长,肯定没兴趣了,还是找些短的来表演吧,BODY LANGUAGE 到位,EXPRESSION 到位就OK了. 但是有关动物的确实找不到了,对不起.

其他类似问题

问题1：英语经典笑话有?

要翻译吗

问题2：求一经典搞笑英语自我介绍就是有一个相当经典的记不住多少了My father is (有钱) my mother is beautifulmy SISTER is young .[英语科目]

Hi everybody,my name is XXX,and I'm 17 years old.

As far as I know,no kid loves studying,and I'm surely not exceptional to that."我喜欢外的其他学科"什么意思?

I know English learing is quite important,but I was born lazy and there is no way to change it.My biggest hobby is taking naps in classes,and I really hate being awaken when I'm sound asleep.I would appreciate it if you guys won't wake me up when I fall asleep.Thank you

问题3：经典笑话：恐怖英语[英语科目]

一位父亲正在检查儿子的英语课本,突然谈翻到极其恐怖的一页:yes- 爷死,nice-奶死,bus-爸死,mouth-妈死,jeeps-姐不死,girls-哥儿死,最后是was-我死.他老爸在后面加了句kiss-气死.

问题4：急求英语经典笑话（小学水平）请在15小时内回答不要太简单,至少十句话,也不要超过20句请写中文在表演时不要有道具[英语科目]

The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September."George,how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her,Mother,because she said that three and three were six...

问题5：英语翻译One day Jane came up to Mike with one of her arms broken.Mike asked her:"What's the matter with you,Jane?What has happened to you?""Oh...While I was walking on the street,I felt that there was sand in my shoe,so I took of my shoe and shoo[英语科目]

一天,简到迈克和她的一只胳膊断了.迈克问她：“你怎么回事,简?你发生了什么事?”“哦…当我走在街上,我觉得有沙子在我的鞋子里,所以我把我的鞋,摇着沙子,支持电线杆和我的手…此时此刻,一个疯狂的人来了,给了我一个大大的打了一杆厚!”简回答.“他为什么要这样做?”“因为他认为我有触电!”