英文短文幽默故事

精选知识

An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland.His only son was in

prison.The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.

He wrote to his son about it,and received this reply,"For HEAVENS SAKE,don't dig up that garden,that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 AM the next morning,a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.

Confused,the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was:"Just plant your potatoes."

一个老人独居在北爱尔兰,他的独生子正在坐牢.老人想在花园里种些土豆,但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松.他写信想儿子提及此事,儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上,千万不要翻松花园的泥土,我把枪埋在那儿了.”

第二天凌晨4点,一队英国士兵出现在老人家中,在花园把土地翻遍,但并没有找到任何枪支.”

老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情,问到底发生了什么事情,下一步应该怎么做.

儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了.”

Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child．

Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much,so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too．

One evening Mr．and Mrs．Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival．“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes,”said Mr．Taylor．

Pat came into the room just then and said,“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now,because the new baby's coming,”his mother answered．

“ It's no use,”said Pat hopelessly．“ He'll follow us there．”

泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩,名叫帕特.现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎.

帕特在别人家看见过婴儿,他不太喜欢他们,所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满.

一天晚上,泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排.泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿,我们的房子就太小,不够住了.”

帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋,他问：“你们在说什么?”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们现在得搬家,因为婴儿就要诞生了.”

“那没用,”帕特绝望地说.“他会跟我们到那儿去的.”

其他类似问题

问题1：英文幽默短文要一篇英文短文 60—70个字 带翻译 还要有关于这篇短文的问题（至少四个问题）[英语科目]

英语幽默：Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽.

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧.”

问题2：短篇幽默英语故事[英语科目]

grandson:What are the birds doing in the tree?

grandfather:They are sitting there.

grandson:But I can't see their chairs?

grandfather:Oh...

问题3：急求英语小短文；小故事；小幽默!150字-200字左右,越多越好!（初一水平）小短文最好是有关diet and lifestyle方面的；小故事和小幽默随便是什么内容都可以.要有中文翻译![英语科目]

The Frog and the Oxby Aesop“Oh,Father,”said a little frog to the big one sitting by the side of a pond,“I have seen such a terrible monster!It was as big as a mountain,with horns① on his head,and ...

问题4：急需一篇英语小故事,也可以是英语小幽默篇.也可以是篇关于学习的英语短文.小故事要简单,至少1.2.最好要有中英翻译!我要做英语广播!明天要读啦![英语科目]

The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子

A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.

Zeal should not outrun discretion.

有只鸽子口渴得很难受,看见画板上画着一个水瓶,以为是真的.他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去,不料一头碰撞在画板上,折断了翅膀,摔在地上,被人轻易地捉住了.

这是说,有些人想急于得到所需的东西,一时冲动,草率从事,就会身遭不幸.

The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅

A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.

Change of habit cannot alter Nature.

乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛.他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡,羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕.于是,他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛,来到江湖边.他天天洗刷自己的羽毛,不但一 点都没洗白,反而因缺少食物饥饿而死.

这故事是说,人的本性不会随着生活方式的改变而改变.

The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人

A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent."

Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.

很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里.有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西,单独落在后面.牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去,正巧打断了山羊的一只角.牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人, 山羊说：“即使我不说,又怎能隐瞒下去呢?我的角已断了,这是十分明显的事实.”

这故事说明,明显的罪状是无法隐瞒的.

The Miser守财奴

A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it."

有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产,换回了金块,并秘密地埋在一个地方.他每天走去看 看他的宝藏.有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察,知道了真情,趁他走后,挖出金块拿走了. 守财奴再来时,发现洞中的金块没有了,便捶胸痛哭.有个人见他如此悲痛,问明原因后, 说道：“喂,朋友,别再难过了,那块金子虽是你买来的,但并不是你真正拥有的.去拿一 块石头来,代替金块放在洞里,只要你心里想着那是块金子,你就会很高兴.这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同.依我之见,你拥有那金块时,也从没用过.”

这故事说明,一切财物如不使用等于没有.

The Wolf and the Lamb 狼与小羊

WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him. He thus addressed him:"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf , "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me." Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations."

The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.

一只小羊在河边喝水,狼见到后,便想找一个名正言顺的借口吃掉他.于是他跑到上游,恶狠狠地说小羊把河水搅浑浊了,使他喝不到清水.小羊回答说,他仅仅站在河边喝水,并且又在下游,根本不可能把上游的水搅浑.狼见此计不成,又说道：“我父亲去年被你骂过.”小羊说,那时他还没有出生.狼对他说：“不管你怎样辩解,反正我不会放过 你.”

这说明,对恶人做任何正当的辩解也是无效的.

The Bat and the Weasels蝙蝠与黄鼠狼

A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second time escaped.

It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.

蝙蝠掉落在地上,被黄鼠狼叼去,他请求饶命.黄鼠狼说绝不会放过他,自己生来痛恨鸟类.蝙蝠说他是老鼠,不是鸟,便被放了.后来蝙蝠又掉落了下来,被另一只黄鼠狼叼住,他再三请求不要吃他.这只黄鼠狼说他恨一切鼠类.蝙蝠改口说自己是鸟类,并非老 鼠,又被放了.这样,蝙蝠两次改变了自己的名字,终于死里逃生.

这故事说明,我们遇事要随机应变方能避免危险.

The Ass and the Grasshopper 驴子与蚱蜢

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.

驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌,被美妙动听的歌声所打动,自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音,便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么,才能发出如此美妙的声音来.蚱蜢答道：“吃露水.”驴子便也只吃露水,没多久就饿死了.

这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物.

The Lion and the Mouse 狮子与报恩的老鼠

A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth and set him free, exclaiming:

"You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."

狮子睡着了,有只老鼠跳到了他身上.狮子猛然站起来,把他抓住,准备吃掉.老鼠请求饶命,并说如果保住性命,必将报恩,狮子轻蔑地笑了笑,便把他放走了.不久,狮子真的被老鼠救了性命.原来狮子被一个猎人抓获,并用绳索把他捆在一棵树上.老鼠听到了他 的哀嚎,走过去咬断绳索,放走了狮子,并说：

“你当时嘲笑我,不相信能得到我的报答, 现在可清楚了,老鼠也能报恩.” 这故事说明,时运交替变更,强者也会有需要弱者的时候.

A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders. Zeal should not outrun discretion

问题5：幽默英文短文英文幽默短文一篇,1分半钟刚好读完,不要对话形式的要背的,所以最好简单好玩.[英语科目]

1、I came home from work one day to find my wife,Jolynn,cradling our six-month-old daughter and repeating,"Da-da" How sweet,I though to myself,for her to choose Daddy as our baby's first word.

Several weeks later,Jhlynn and I were wakened by a small voice crying,"Da-da".Turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"She's calling you,dear"

译：一天,我下班回家,发觉我的妻子将我们六个月的女儿轻轻放到摇篮里,而且重复地说着："爸-爸",呵,多么甜美,我自忖道,她选择教会我们的宝贝的第一个词是："爸-爸".

几个星期后,妻子和我睡得正香,忽然被小小的哭声给唤醒了,"爸-爸".我翻个身继续睡.妻子说了："亲爱的,她正在叫你呢".

2

Mom and Dad love our life to the selfless devotion of their love,however,we often encounter the cold because we may have misunderstood them or they will continue to love to do an indifferent Yet all I want to say :We cherish the love of the immediate well-being of Mom and Dad!Mom and Dad here all the good wishes for a happy and healthy life!National happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

爸爸妈妈 一生爱我们的人 无私地奉献着自己的爱 然而常常会遭遇到我们的冷漠 因为我们可能会误解了他们 把他们爱看做无所谓 可是一切还是会继续着 我想说：珍惜眼前的幸福 努力去爱我们的爸爸妈妈吧!在这里祝愿所有的爸爸妈妈身体健康 幸福一生!国庆中秋佳节快乐!

3

Children!When you are very young,I spent a lot of time teaching your time with spoons and chopsticks to eat.Teach you apologize,son shirt,slide down slides,and tell you the clothes,comb the hair hair,pinch the nose.These and the neighborhood you together is how I missed.So,when I recall,not receive,then,please,give me some time,so I am a bit so I think again ::most likely will not even say what I have to be forgotten.Children!You forget the hundreds of practitioners back of the first children to learn songs?I still remember the day when their brains to reply that he does not know from where you come out of nowhere?So,when I repeated again and again talking about the age-old story of my childhood humming the tune of the song,I understand.Let me continue to revel in those memories!Desirous of you,I can also accompany a nice chat!Children,I often forget to factor son expelled.Meals,dirty clothes,comb the hair will be made when the incessant shaking hands,not to press me,for me a little more patience and tenderness,as long as you are together,there will be a lot of warmth well up in my mind.

孩子!当你还很小的时候,我花了很多时间,教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西.教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕.这些和你在一起的点点滴滴,是多么的令我怀念不已.所以,当我想不起来,接不上话时,请给我一点时间,等我一下,让我再想一想……极可能最后连要说什么,我也一并忘记.孩子!你忘记我们练习了好几百回,才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗?是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁,去回答不知道你从哪里冒出来的吗?所以,当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事,哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时,体谅我.让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧!切望你,也能陪着我闲话家常吧!孩子,现在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带.吃饭时,会弄脏衣服,梳头发时手还会不停的抖,不要催促我,要对我多一点耐心和温柔,只要有你在一起,就会有很多的温暖涌上心头.