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【读书笔记】王尔德《自深深处》34
1891年，处在写作生涯巅峰期的王尔德遇见了阿尔弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas)，两人很快成为了同性恋人。四年后，因为这段“不敢说出名字的爱”，王尔德被判“有伤风化”罪而入狱。在狱中，王尔德开始反思从前的生活，思索痛苦和人生的意义，艺术和爱的真谛，最终将那些痛苦的泪水都化作优美而深沉的文字，写成了这封名为"de profundis"(从深处)的长信。
作者简介：奥斯卡·王尔德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900)，英国维多利亚时代著名作家，“唯美主义运动”的领军人物，倡导“为艺术而艺术”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有戏剧《莎乐美》(Salome)《认真的重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest)，童话《快乐王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜莺与玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose)，小说《道连·格雷的画像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray)，以及书信《自深深处》(De Profundis)等。
【原著选段】
Ah! had you been in prison—I will not say through any fault of mine, for that would be a thought too terrible for me to bear—but through fault of your own, error of your own, faith in some unworthy friend, slip in sensual mire, trust misapplied, or love ill-bestowed, or none, or all of these —do you think that I would have allowed you to eat your heart away in darkness and solitude without trying in some way, however slight, to help you to bear the bitter burden of your disgrace? Do you think that I would not have let you know that if you suffered, I was suffering too: that if you wept, there were tears in my eyes also: and that if you lay in the house of bondage and were despised of men, I out of my very griefs had built a house in which to dwell until your coming, a treasury in which all that men had denied to you would be laid up for your healing, one hundredfold in increase? If bitter necessity, or prudence, to me more bitter still, had prevented my being near you, and robbed me of the joy of your presence, though seen through prison-bars and in a shape of shame, I would have written to you in season and out of season in the hope that some mere phrase, some single word, some broken echo even of Love might reach you. If you had refused to receive my letters, I would have written none the less, so that you should have known that at any rate there were always letters waiting for you.
【朱纯深译本】
啊！要是换成了你在监狱——我不说是因为我的过失，要是这样那太可怕了，我承受不了的——而是因为你自己的过失，你自己的错误：交错朋友、信错人、爱错人、在人欲的泥淖中失足，或者这些都不是，或者这些都是——在这种情况下，你想我会让你在黑暗与孤寂中凄惨度日，而不想办法，哪怕是多么微不足道的办法，帮助你去承受耻辱的重压吗？你想我会不让你知道吗，你受苦，我与你同在受苦；你哭泣，我眼中也会充满热泪？你想我会不让你知道吗，假如你幽困于缧绁之室，为人所不齿，我会用满心的悲哀去构筑一处宝屋，百倍加添地存起世人不让你得到的一切，等着你的归来，伴着你的康复？如果出于令人痛苦的需要，或是谨慎——对于我这是更加的痛苦——我不得与你接近，被剥夺了与你相见的快乐，即使是透过铁窗看看里面囚首垢面的你都不行，我也会一年四季地给你写信，希望哪怕是一些只言片语，甚至不过是爱的不成声的回音，也许会传到你那儿。即使你拒绝收我的信，我也会照写不误，这样你就会知道，不管怎样总是有信在等着你。
【读书笔记】
1、fault n.缺点，毛病；错误；过失
【举例】merits and faults 优缺点
commit a fault 犯错误
acknowledge one's faults 承认错误
It's not my fault. 这不是我的错。
2、eat one's heart away/out 因忧虑或渴求而变得憔悴；忧伤
【举例】For months after her son's death, she simply eat her heart away. 在她儿子死后几个月里，她悲痛欲绝。
3、dwell v.(尤指作为常住居民)居住；生活，存在
【举例】dwell on an island 居住在岛上
dwell in poverty 生活贫困
There dwells in me a strange feeling that all is not right. 我心中有一种奇怪的感觉，似乎事情有点不对头。
4、deny v.否认；拒绝；拒不相信
【举例】The suspect denied having assaulted a policeman. 嫌疑人否认曾经袭警。
He denied his signature. 他不承认自己的签字。
deny one's request 拒绝某人的要求
deny the existence of God 不相信上帝的存在
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