求一些英语笑话 小故事 和一些有趣的英语知识英语笑...

精选知识

hey Are Directly from America

Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”

汉译：

真美钞

一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久,到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看,是否有假.这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,是从美国直接带来的.”

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.

汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的.”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里. 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.

老师：请说说看.

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道.

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了." 小女孩回答道.

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里.

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6."

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题.

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后.

Jim’s History Examination

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?

Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him

things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?

母亲：唉,糟透了.可话又说回来,这也不能怪他.嗨,他们尽问一些这个

可怜的孩子出生前的事儿.

其他回答

English joke

Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change y...

其他类似问题

问题1：英语幽默故事150字左右,以对话为主,附加中文.[英语科目]

小明上英文课时跟老师说：“May I go to the toilet?” 老师说：“Go ahead.” 小明就坐了下来.过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说：“May I go to the toilet?” 老师说：“Go ahead.”小明又坐了下来.他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：“你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?”小明说：“你没听老师说‘去你个头’啊!”

翻译成英文就是：

Xiaoming English class with the teacher,said:"May I go to the toilet?" The teacher said:"Go ahead." Xiaoming sit down.After a while,Xiao-Ming Yougen teacher,said:"May I go to the toilet?" The teacher said:"Go ahead." Xiaoming and sat down.He next to the students ask:"Do you not like a teacher talking about it to the toilet?How not?" Little said:"You heard the teacher say,'go to your head' ah!"

非常搞笑的 单词也很简单基本就是初中的单词

问题2：英语幽默故事用英语怎么说快[英语科目]

English humous story

问题3：英语幽默小故事（带翻译的）[英语科目]

I'm Trying to Stop It

"Boy,why have you got cotton-wool in your ear?Is it infected?"

"No,sir,but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it."

“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”

“没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.”

“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars!Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.”

“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元.”

“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了.”

TWO：Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract.Now,can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short.

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理.现在,谁给我举个例子?

约翰：嗯,在夏天天都长,在冬天天都短.

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours.then he started again,and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon,where are they?"

"I'll venture an answer," said an old lady."We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?”

“我来试试看,”一位老太太说.

“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧.”

更多的点这个链接

问题4：英语幽默小故事要参加学校里的英语讲故事比赛,希望大家帮我找一下英语幽默故事及视频（相同的内容）,故事内容最好浅显易懂,太难了同学们会听不懂,如果没有幽默的,其他的也可以,时间[英语科目]

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.

汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的.”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里. 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著

性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.

老师：请说说看.

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道.

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了." 小女孩回答道.

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里.

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6."

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题.

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后.

Jim’s History Examination

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?

Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him

things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?

母亲：唉,糟透了.可话又说回来,这也不能怪他.嗨,他们尽问一些这个

可怜的孩子出生前的事儿.

Magic change

神奇变化

Gaga is a little duck. He is small, dirty and ugly. His friends don’t like to play with him.

One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地).

Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见)him crying and flew down(飞下来,落下来). She said, “Please don’t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.”

Gaga told the truth(真相). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to become a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck’s body. She said something which the little duck didn’t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立)a good-looking duck.

Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends

问题5：翻译英语幽默小故事1. We Left Nothing Mrs Browm was going out for the day.She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door:"NOBADY HOME.DON`T LEAVE ANYTHING.' When she got back that night,she found her door borken open an[英语科目]

布朗太太出去了.她锁了门,然后在门上贴了一张字条给送奶工“没有人在家,什么都不要留下”.她晚上回来的时候发现,她的门被撬开了,而且被洗劫一空.在那张她留下的字条上她看到了“谢谢!我们没有什么都没有留下”

Harry 和 Lloyd 超速行驶.一个警察把他们拦截下来.“为什么开这么快?”警察问.

我们的刹车有点问题,所以我们想在出事故前离开这里.